Max Klapow '17 on Radical Empathy

In a time when people dismiss and avoid those who think differently, Radical Empathy provides a path to understanding others while staying true to your own beliefs and mores, Max Klapow ’17 told fellow students at Washington University during a recent TED Talk.

In his talk, “Our Problem with Empathy,” the former Indian Springs student recounted growing up Jewish and gay in evangelical Alabama, and the backlash that led the once-open child to become withdrawn and judgmental.

As a college freshman, Klapow assumed everyone on campus thought like he did. But one day while talking politics with a friend, she abruptly shut down. Looking terrified, she explained she is conservative and afraid revealing that would lead students to shun and vilify her.
Klapow was struck: As different as they were, he and his friend shared the same fear.

People disagree terribly, but they’re even worse at listening and practicing empathy, he said. Instead, we mentally segregate people who think differently into separate boxes, ignoring those different from ours.

Radical Empathy changes that, Klapow said. It calls for open-minded discussion, not blind condemnation. Only then can you appreciate the person without rejecting them for thinking differently.

“Radical Empathy is the idea that to connect with someone we disagree with, we must understand that they had different life experiences that shaped their beliefs, just as ours did,” Klapow said.

Practicing Radical Empathy—and it takes practice—helps Klapow appreciate the rich tapestry of humanity. “Radical Empathy saved me from myself. Once I was willing to be vulnerable and listen, I benefitted.”

Click here to listen to Max’s TED talk on YouTube.

This story appeared in the Summer 2019 issue of Indian Springs Magazine.